Bertie from the Bunker

This blog has been written in a secret squirrel underground bunker where natural light is banished and our only link to the outside world are CCTV cameras and BBC1. I have long since exhausted the internet - CiF has been read and there has been no news of note on the BBC, all the links discoloured betraying the fact I've already been there and done that (Who can resist clicking on a link entitled Garden Gnome Dismembers Fro. While you sleep under the blanket of the very freedom that I provide I am bored senseless - the most interesting thing to have happened thus far was a Dennis Quaid thriller I watched last night. So what better way to alleviate this desperate state of affairs than to turn to Bertie. What have I become.

Aaah Bertie. You is so chuddy. Her latest favourite activity is pulling clean clothes of the clothes rack and if suitable putting them over her head - Maddy's knickers are a particular favour and makes her laugh like drain. And will probably make you smile a little bit. 

And what a laugh. It comes now spontaneously as she amuses herself rather than as a result of her father's relentless tickling. It's rather lovely. I think it should be broadcast at tube stations in place of the mainstream classical music they broadcast across the tube network in the wee small hours - everyone would be becalmed and becharmed with all thoughts of lager fuelled savagery quelled by the bean. And she can play. No longer is she content to destroy the ornate brick towers her parents lovingly construct, instead she posts things through holes, bellows into egg shells, loads stuff onto trolleys and seems delighted by it all. 

Her bum shuffle continues to be refined and despite efforts to contain her in the kitchen she happily truffles all over the place. In the video below she is like a latter day Shawn Michaels, who as we all know defied gravity, shuffling up a slide. While the second video shows enjoying the wonders of a roundabout. A rotisserie bean. But more profound things might be afoot - she is intent on pulling herself onto her feet. Occasionally this results in her wiping out in ridiculously stupid ways that defy all logical explanation or simply just falling over backwards. 

But she wants to stand and no one will deny her. Her capacity for movement has also been aided by the Ybike, which has turned her into Bertie de Grand Vitesse as once she is ensconced on it she can ratchet those mighty, muscular thighs of her into a dervish of activity and propel herself across the room, her progress checked only by all objects in her way. Sadly she has not mastered how to back up or steer. She will. And then we are all doomed to a life of high pursuit and crash bang wallop what a video.

Easy Rider.

I've typed all this and I've still got nine hours and fifty one minutes to go. B*gger.

 And we've clocked up 4000 hits. Jolly well played y'all. 

Puddle.

The Tailor of Panama.

Hair, glorious Hair.

Yes those are pants you see. Unsoiled of course.