Notes on a Scandalous Bean

Another month missed. Gadzuuks I hear you all cry. What has happened to this once august organ, where once it was a slick well oiled machine it now resembles a quivering wreck. I've not got much excuse really, I've been doing lots of DIY (most of it with a good line in innuendo; drilling, oiling, waxing, slapping) and teaching Nancy not to use her bed as a latrine now that she is out of nappies. Which has gone surprisingly well - only twice has there been a need for scatological clean up operation - and now Nancy is an old pro and nappies have been consigned to the past. For the time being at least but more of that later. 

What else have we been doing? Well Nancy has been developing her creative streak calling her father a "razzle dog" and telling me to "put those potatoes in your pipe and smoke them" as well as describing as tracker bar, not too dishonestly, as "basically some crap with some nuts in." She has also discerned that algae lives on "dry-land" and that the person in charge of the pass the parcel was "a bit foolish as they let me win twice." There is no pleasing them. Really there isn't. And she is very much looking forward to after Christmas when her eggs will crack and she will have a baby of her own. Whilst I was the inspiration for this creation myth, my wife has rather embedded it in her consciousness and Nancy is rather smitten with the idea of cracking her eggs. 

As galling as this gender stereotyping might be, she did score well in the north london liberal competitive parenting bake off as she presided over the marriage of a girl and a princess who then went to visit the queen which is all very matriarchal and right on. Sadly, the trip to the queen was interrupted by a horse flying off but the thought was there.

Oh and my personal favourite. Whilst walking down the street, Nancy turned to me and asked "Daddy, why is mummy in the fridge?" which got me a few funny looks from passing traffic. I quickly had to explain to her that Mummy wasn't in the fridge but at work to ensure that the wrong end of the stick was quickly un grasped. 

And here is what you have all been waiting for. Some long overdue pictures of Nancy. If you look carefully and have sharp eyes like Apply Dapply you might spot one of them looks a bit out of place.....

Fire.

Cack

Spannered

Oh yes. I could have mentioned this earlier; We're having another Baby. He is called Schlomo. But he might be a she but we think it's a he. He already has a nose and a head. What else does he need? 

She is wearing trousers. Don't panic.

Self portrait

Tickled