Gas Giant from ‘Allo ‘Allo.

Sorry for the lack of pictures over the last week. Now that I’m back at work my ability to freely spurt tosh has been constricted by the demands of the global economy, which is quite frankly awful. In fact, my month of paternal rambling (standing under awnings waiting for rainstorms to pass, eating ice creams in the park, staring blankly at the sky and feeding ducks) has made me realise how absolutely awful the world of work is. However, the gruzzlehound abounds in her chuddy glory regardless of my sense of outrage at global capitalism.

Here she is….

 

No, sorry that is a gas giant which is in fact what the chudster has turned into, no longer a mere chide but a heavenly body of the most saturnine quality. Her flatulence can wake a sleeping wife from ten paces and the variety, volume and dexterity of her capacity suggest a preternatural talent for all things musical. Add to this her array of brays, belches, hiccups and other deeply unsettling noises and Nellie is clearly a baby of uncommon talent.

Whilst indulging these digressions it also worth noting her uncanny similarity to a certain celebrity Nazi, famed for hiding the Madonna with the big boobies in a salami cellar.

However, most of you visit this site for pictures of Nancy and not to actually read this irrelevant goop so here are; a host of pictures celebrating her all round glory.

Here is the little gruzzle being ravaged by a turtle. Kinky.

I think any caption is superfluous. Munga with the best bib ever. Ever.

This picture might have been staged.

This is not an out-take from Trainspotting, I've just failed to rotate  it. This is Nellie enjoying "tummy time" (say it like "Timmy" from South Park and it becomes clear) which has become sadly synonymous with baby jihad.

Oh and at the start of this blog I promised that occasionally I would offer some profound insights into the world of parenting. Sadly, what I am about to write I can not claim as my own; I’m no Rear Admiral. On discussing the all round genius of the kinder digestive system and how it can occasionally make a chide a little jihadi, one grandparental commented sagely that it akin to an adult having “to hoover hummus up his anus” which would make anyone a little upset. This, while a slightly upsetting, and potentially true, comparison casts light on a place that would best remain un-illuminated.